Got the title from a blog post by twitch vintage. Could be a mantra for meditation or a yoga practice.
Last little while has been tedious. I miss blogging regularly. I've been thinking of setting up a lifestyle blog but lack the motivation. Nothing too personal - really just a "Lookit What I found" blog. Some of my friends ask me where I find the items I do, so it might be an nice information gathering venture.
Appointment today with the Pain Clinic. Imaging of my Left foot, a nerve conduction study, trying to isolate the neurogenic issues and pain I have been experiencing. May drop by the ER after, if I'm feeling up to it. Still struggling with the reality that the ER is done for me. It feels like what I imagine it would feel like to be painter and lose control of her hands. Identity changing.
Figured I'd dress up today to feel better. Even if the inside is a mess, decorating the outside can help. One must start somewhere!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Overdue, shamefully
The worst thing (or at least, the 49th worst thing) is about rehab and recovery is the demotivation that occurs with recovering.
Take for example this blog. I was so gungho about posting, sometimes writing posts to post at later dates. Just like Chris Guillebreau and Danielle La Porte tell you to, so that the well doesn't dry out. If I had already posted for the day, I would write a new post as a word document so I could post it the next day.
During October, the most exciting things to happen in a long time occured but my motivation to post about it went straight out the window!
Maybe it was laziness, maybe it was procrastination. Perhaps I viewed blogging as negative, as it had become my outlet for things that were bothering me. Maybe I just wanted to keep those moments to myself. In retrospect, anything is possible.
But bye and bye, the motivation for blogging left me. Blogging ceased to be an outlet for me and became just another item on the list to tick off. The list on "How to get my LIFE back..."
Given all that I've lost, all that has been taken from me in some form or another, one would think I'd be comping at the bit to whittle away at this list, to get closer to achieving wholeness. Wrong. God, anything but.
October was sacred. It gave me two weeks to step away from my life now, to leave all the rehab and doubt and the angst about recovering and just go west. To the promise land. T and A's wedding was awesome. Fun, delicious, boisterous! I haven't seen E look that relaxed in months. That alone, made the cost all the more worth it.
Take for example this blog. I was so gungho about posting, sometimes writing posts to post at later dates. Just like Chris Guillebreau and Danielle La Porte tell you to, so that the well doesn't dry out. If I had already posted for the day, I would write a new post as a word document so I could post it the next day.
During October, the most exciting things to happen in a long time occured but my motivation to post about it went straight out the window!
Maybe it was laziness, maybe it was procrastination. Perhaps I viewed blogging as negative, as it had become my outlet for things that were bothering me. Maybe I just wanted to keep those moments to myself. In retrospect, anything is possible.
But bye and bye, the motivation for blogging left me. Blogging ceased to be an outlet for me and became just another item on the list to tick off. The list on "How to get my LIFE back..."
Given all that I've lost, all that has been taken from me in some form or another, one would think I'd be comping at the bit to whittle away at this list, to get closer to achieving wholeness. Wrong. God, anything but.
October was sacred. It gave me two weeks to step away from my life now, to leave all the rehab and doubt and the angst about recovering and just go west. To the promise land. T and A's wedding was awesome. Fun, delicious, boisterous! I haven't seen E look that relaxed in months. That alone, made the cost all the more worth it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)