Sunny and warm outsidse today. Too bad I am stuck inside. I wish venturing out wasn't such a big deal but it is. I have to psyche myelf up fr it big time. The cars, the movement, the people. Truly frightens me. Since that day where I flew ito the air and landed on my life as I knew it everything has changed. I'm not the person I was pre-accident. I'm not as brave. And I feel like such a phony. My body seems foreign to me, a stranger wearing me and my skin. Before, this vessel of movement was me. I worked out, ate right, paid people to care for it. I swam like a fish, I explored the world, just you are supposed to when you are young.
But now, fear. My mantra was fear is the mind killer. Baby Steps. soon all this will be a blip in my life.
A friend offered to come over so I'm going outside. To go to the bank and drycleaners. Get some vitamin D.
Hopefully if we get a puppy, I'll feel braver, not alone. A smart, personable northern dog to train and love. A rescued dog to maybe rescue me from that day when I flew.
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