Today the cleaners are here for the first time. It feels weird to be
sitting at my desk, with my animals around me, while a team of people
clean our apartment. I feel deliciously guilty, but I’m sure when I
see our apartment looking cleaner then we could have ever done, I’ll
feel fantastic.
Big day today! The first session of the World Changing Writing Workshop
(WCWW). The final round of the neuropsychological testing. Puppy training. Because of the testing, I managed to miss the WCWW session I was most
excited to see due to scheduling conflicts and the puppy training
because I was too drained and tired to attend. And now, because of my
level of alertness and wakeful feeling, I will most likely be up for a
bit, which will no doubt throw the rest of my day off tomorrow. Ah
sleep, you are luxury that forever eludes me.
If I could list the top sleeps I’ve ever had they would be:
- sleeping in a hammock by the beach, the wind gently rocking me to and from, the sound of the ocean and the soft cries of the jungle my sleep time music.
- Napping with my dog or cat, snuggled under a blanket.
- Napping with my husband while listening to jazz
- Sleeping after a invigorating work out
- Sleeping in my mum’s bed when I was little
I wish I could harness the essence, the true sedative of the sleeps I’ve listed - the essence of true contentment and security. I would not sell it, or try to profit from such an essence, as it is priceless and scarce in these uncertain times. Rather I would protect it, learn from it and try and teach it to others so they too could exist and sleep with true contentment and security. If anyone has figured out this formula or technique, please pass it on. Me, and my fellow insomniacs, are waiting!
Ever since I can remember, sleep has always been an issue. I was a
colicky baby, impossible to put down and too interested in my
surroundings to pay attention to what was required of me. When I was
little, I had frequent nightmares, which had me hiding under the
covers trembling till the wee hours or running to my mother’s bed as a
safe port of call. Later on as an adolescent I would stay up late, listening to the radio, chatting on the phone, reading or writing. Sometimes I would roam the neighbourhood with the dog or cycle down town to check out what was going on. I would welcome the dawn with dreams of my future life, omitting nighttime dreams for the wishes of an existence yet to come.
Throughout my early adulthood the restless activity at night never left but I had discovered the nightlife of the world to keep me occupied. Be it dancing in a club, wandering a secluded beach or jungle, swimming in pockets of phosphorescence or watching lunar eclipses against the backdrop of a rumbling ocean the nocturnal world was always fascinated me. The problem however, was that I enjoyed the clarity of day just as much and would say awake or go without sleep so that I didn’t miss anything. I am surprised I do not look older than I do!
I’ve tried listening to music, writing, reading , knitting before bed, hot milk, valerian root and tea, energy channeling, counting sheep, sleepy imagery, yoga, grueling workouts, anything to get to sleep. Recently I’ve started accepting my natural rhythms and just going with my flow, sleeping when tired, staying up when awake and napping in the afternoon. Listening to one’s body. What a concept!
Gravol working it’s anti emetic magic. Our apartment is spotless and clean and I feel elated, relaxed and olfactorily satisfied Tomorrow, yoga, 800 words, hopefully the WCWW I missed today, various appointments and commitments. Another busy day.
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