late night, again

Late night, no sleep. Too predictable a pattern, me thinks.
The one year mark is soon upon me. I have no clue how I feel about that.
I was sorting papers in my study when I was filled with so much sorrow. It filled me from toe to crown and I bawled, head in hands, over nothing, everything.
My psychologist gave me a copy of her initial assessment and I read it in one sitting, the whole time crying.
I sit and type, words come out, hang suspended in cyberspace, life goes on. A bomb could detonate, the city is leveled to the ground, yet in theory, these words will remain in the interweb forever. Along with all the other crap.
To whittle away the time, I write, I window shop, I read articles, I dream.
With so many mediums of inspiration gleaned, you'd think New Me would be getting her groove on and taking the world by storm.
I bought a purse omline for use at all the weddings we'd been invited to this summer. I specified the date I needed it by. 2 days before it was due to arrive, I get this e-mail from the seller that the purse had slipped her mind and it wasn't coming. In this Etsy store's case, I am not a new customer but a repeat, having brought in much business. I appreciate how hard it can be to start up a business, esp. in these polar climates. I think a part of me was envious of the business - the new opportunity, the tapping into creative outlets, the large amount of knitting to be had. I am hoping it shows up soon so I can use it for another wedding this September.
Once the cold weather hits, the time will be right to get back into my knitting. Tried as I might, I just couldn't muster the motivation to knit during our hot summer. Last winter knitting became so paramount to my recovery. I spent hours upon hours knitting, trawling knitting blogs and Ravelry online for patterns and knitting gurus. During the winter Olympics I sat in my Lay-Z boy and watched all day and evening while knitting my first sweater. It became known as the Olympic sweater and was such a source of focus and creativity for me. I lost my knitting fever once the hot weather hit but now the air has the cool autumn smell to it, I am going to start again. I am going to bring a few small projects with me to A's wedding in Tofino, BC, this October. K. who makes the knit clutches, will be there and we have tentatively agreed to stitch and bitch together. I am also hoping, maybe, to meet up with my knitting crush who lives in Victoria and whose hat patterns I will be bringing with me. She is so talented, writes patterns, writes this blog about knitting and her life in Victoria, which I am unashamed to admit, I envy her life. Ah girl crushes, is there anything more delightful?
I have a nice stash of some pretty gorgeous wool that I amassed from various sales and ebay auctions. My regular knit shop had a 50% off everything in the store sale a few weeks back ut I didn't go as I knew I'd end up with more wool than space to store it. Yum.
My sister once told me of a friend who wished she had a trapdoor above her bed so that every morning as she awoke, she pulled a rope and the trap door opened and rained kittens. So soft! Myself I would like balls of cashmere, mohair and silk merino. Or maybe kitten in cashmere sweaters. Or a kitten cashmere hybrid.