Match striking

Sometime last year, we decided to purchase a house during the summer time. Instead of paying someone for a roof over our heads, we figured we'd pay the bank for a roof, and eventually the place would be ours.
All my friends told me about the fear inducing stomach in knots feeling that comes with vetting permission to get a loan to purchase a house and then promise to pay it back (with interest) within a certain time line. They were not wrong.
As usual in my universe, everything seemed to cock up at the eleventh hour via a communication breakdown between the real estate lawyer, the mortgage broker and the lender. E and I ended up in panicked phone calls to our financial institutions, begging for our money to be released from various accounts and investments so we could pay the final closing costs. Which is funny, because we hired these people to ensure a seamless transaction that avoided all the stress that comes with closing the deal. Thanks,guys.....
Anyhow, in 3 days we close, and now that everything seems to be rock solid, by Wednesday we will be home owners! Gulp.
Pain wise the last few days have been tedious. I've been really sore and achy. My long acting pain meds were titrated down this week which always brings extra soreness. The fatigue is also very present, although I can walk further than last week, I have very little endurance, and often collapse on the couch when we get home, refusing to move.
I visited my surgeon yesterday, was x-rayed front and side, and he declared that my spine and pelvis looked good. The sacrum may pose to be an ongoing issue pain wise, but on the whole I had come through the last 10 months okay. I can now begin the real rehab of getting my movement and body back. Lots of core strengthening, Pilates, swimming. Yoga. The mere thought of it is both exhilarating and exhausting. I have come so far in terms of my rehab and yet I have so far to go. I'm not even fully recovered from this past surgery. And the stress from acquiring the house has been intense, not to mention the stress from the mental and emotional issues concerning the accident. Although I have made some progress with my weekly visits with the social worker, I haven't even scratched the surface of certain issues, and I was hoping to utilize the sessions with the psycologist to broach this topic. However, for some reason, it will take her a month to write the report on my initial assessment and information intake sessions. This process of assessment and evaluation has taken so long, I sometimes wonder if it is for the practitioners benefit, as opposed to the patient/client.
I remember from nursing school the debate of calling patients patients, or using "client" to show a cohesive partnership between two people, working towards the goal of healing which the practitioner assists with. My big issues with "client" was that it assigned a monetary slant to the patient/nurse dynamic. Patients do not hire nurses an doctors to look after them. They are provided by the health care system which in turn is paid for by the government and through some tax money. Doctors are self serving small businesses who are hired by hospitals to provide medical services, and they bill OHIP from much of the costs. Applying the term client to a nurse/patient relationship seems fake and pretentious. A client pays for an ongoing service, like me and my hairdresser, or a home owner and a contractor. Client refers to a business transaction, where the business is providing a service the client wants or needs. The American system of private health care seems to fit this idea better as much of the health care is purchased by the individual needing the care.
Regarding the relationship between some of my care practitioners who aren't covered by OHIP, I am beginning to feel that "client" fits, as I am paying them for a service that they may not be providing appropriately. My PT is often late and cuts the sessions short, and will sometimes sit in her truck when she arrives taking phone calls, even though she is ten minutes late. This is not professional behaviour and yet her expertise, her knowledge base and the fact that she makes house calls is quite fortunate, given my initial house bound state. I often feel so caught between a rock and a hard place - do I take a stand against this behaviour and find a new physiotherapist, which could take some time and set my progress back, or do I put up with the lateness and continue to flourish? It's all about making the right decision that is best for me and my recovery. But what if both are conflicting?
This experience has aligned me with patients - I really now understand their behaviours and actions because I have lived them too. I am really hoping that this will make me a better nurse, should I be able to go back to nursing as my vocation. This is what the rehab is about, reclaiming what was main. Reclaiming the spoils of war - the fight to get my life back. I am so tired. The chasm of my accident is always there, be it beside me, in front of me, somewhere in the distance. The chasm has to stay in the distance, far enough away to not hinder my path onwards, but close enough to remind me of the lessons I learned when I fell down there.
Speaking of onwards, after reading the manifest of encouragement, E started reading Danielle LaPorte's website, and eventually I showed him her e-book for entrepreneurs, The Fire Starter Sessions E has finally come around to the idea of starting a small business or project on the side, tapping into his numerous creative abilities as a means to make some extra cash and create a creative outlet in order to keep his life balanced. One thing he is really good at is woodworking, and last year he built a beautiful wooden dinning room table that has earned him numerous compliments. As an investment in the future, and because I have been so interested in reading her book and maybe staring my own fire, I purchased the Fire Starter Sessions this evening.
Sometimes when things pop up and then grow organically, it is often best to take a chance. Happy reading, E.