Reverb#10 - Day 21

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Five years from now, erm. 2015, at the dawn of 2016. I'll be 38. Hoo boy.
Interestingly enough this prompt comes on an interesting night. The total lunar eclipse is just winding down. It was beautiful. The moon was this reddish brown colour, we could see it flickering between red, bronze and brown. My dog went nuts at totality, running around in the snow, back and forth, chasing something only he could see. Dogs and the moon. Something to that, it seems.
The last lunar eclipse I witnessed was in 2001 on Paradise Beach, just outside of Gorkana, SW India. One state south of Goa. Fresh off the holiday season madness that befalls Goa, my friends and I had ventured south to Gorkana, in search of chill beaches, chiller charis and a group of friends we had last seen in Diu. Dawn, a rad Californian had found us in Arambol, Goa at some point around New Years and had come south with us to meet up with her friends Dave, Nadia and Andy, who had been camping in the Hampi Caves since Xmas. She knew they were headed for Om Beach, a 45 minute hike south over the cliff tops. Om Beach is quite cool. If you stand on the cliffs just North of the beach, the beach is actually two smaller beaches split from each other by a sand bar. From the cliff, the whole beach looks like an OM symbol. We thought it would be chill and peaceful, but the Goa crowd had moved south as well following New Years, and had set up shop on OM Beach for a 3 day psy-trance party. Fueled mostly by the Israeli contingent, who are known to spawn mass migrations towards anywhere quiet and near a beach, usually by hauling the craziest speakers system into the middle of nowhere. How they do it, is a mystery unbeknown-st to us Anglo lot. We arrived at one of the cafes and eventually found Dave, Nads and Andy (DNA). They had word of a quieter beach, Paradise beach, and were heading in that direction, having no interest in partying like it was New Years all over again.
The party was in honour and in awe of an Eclipse, which occurred on the last night of the party. What better way to view an Eclipse than to stay up all night, dancing and thrashing about on the beach while the ocean goes mad. Primal madness at it's best.
We stayed on OM beach for the first night, to take in the vibes and music. India is full of characteurs to begin with. Goa and anywhere involving an Israeli rave has the oddest, sketchiest, craziest characteurs, all who temporarily (or permanently) lose their minds at some point and make the best spectacles of themselves. Maybe the drugs are more potent, maybe the elements work one into a frenzy, maybe a combo of both. Who knows. My friends and I spent the night dancing, sitting, dozing, dancing. We had rented a storage room where 6 of us could dump our bags and sleep on the floor if needed, but the room was to the side of the party so it was like sleeping in the speaker itself.
After one crazy, hilarious and endless night we decided to head for Paradise Beach as well. I joined Dawn in her search for her group DNA, after splitting from Corinna and Annwyn, who were heading back up to Arambol to guesthouse sit for a few weeks.
Another 45 minute hike down the beach and we were there. A quiet craggy beach, nestled next to a large steep rocky outcrop. One shack with one restaurant, and a few basket like huts next to the restaurant. The outhouse was a trench dug into the cliff side (I'm not kidding), and the bottom of said trench was exactly what you think it was. A bed of toilet tissue and rapidly drying waste. How it didn't stink up the beach is another Indian mystery.
I opted to sleep on the beach with a few friends and keep my bag in the shack. My larger rucksack was in a storage locker at a hotel in Gorkana, and I had filled my day bag with what I needed for the next few days. The honour system was highly regarded, as everyone had stuff lying in and around shabby basket huts. Our belongings remained safe. The first night was spent chatting with the other residents of the beach, building campfires, smoking chillums and making plans for the Eclipse.
The next day we swam, ate, smoked, swam, ate, hiked, swam, chatted, smoked etc. The shack did a special Eeekleepse curry with rice and lassis. The Indian guys told us to build our fires further up the beach as the water would get big. We built it almost as high as they had recommended because why would peeps who had lived on these beaches their entire lives and probably seen 5 dozen beach side Eclipses know better than us backpacking folk where to build a fire. Duh.
The sunset was absolutely stunning. Blood red to purple to pink to orange. It lasted for well over an hour, the colour was insane. At one point Nadia looked back to me an mimed "What the Fuck" with big Indian arm gestures. Al I could do was nod in agreement. The sunset was so incredible that all us watching had a group hug to celebrate the fact that our heads didn't explode from what we just witnessed. Incredible.
The eclipse was expected to start at around 12-1230. After sunset we noticed an increase in ocean activity - the waves usually hit the beach with a quiet thump, like a heart beat. This time it was harder, more intense. The tide was excited and the closer it got to the Eclipse beginning, the more frenetic the waves and tidal movement got. Bubbling, crackling, more aggressive in movement. The waves ran longer up the beach, as if to swallow the earth in its path. Our fire was raging by this point, and as it grew, so did the ocean. Soon we were inching up the beach, to the shore side of the fire. All of a sudden a wave hit the beach with a snarling thump and the oceans of water flew the length of the beach, into the side of our fire. We scrambled to get out of the way, as the ocean was claiming whatever was in it's path. The air felt completely electric by this point. Under the full moon he wave caps looked like snowy mountains and avalanches of sea water. As the light dimmed, we could still make out the waves, more of a muted grey. Nadia grabbed my arm and hissed "we're going in." She pulled me towards the water. I barely scrambled out of my clothes before hitting the water. The chill of the water wasn't what made me startle. The water felt alive, as if every droplet was a different entity. We didn't go deep, but sat in the shallows, barely able to take it all in. I had always known the power of the ocean but never felt it, never experienced it in this way before. It crashed around us, merciless, unrelenting, hissing, bubbling, the sea foam dancing all around us.
One of the crazy swedes from the shack swam further out and he told us later the ocean was insane. He literally felt like he was riding a wild animal. Fantastic.
Nads and I left the frothing water, and shimmied back into towels and clothes. The fire by this point had been breached and completely swallowed by the water. Everyone was huddled around a large fire further up ground. Dawn told us later the Indian guys were laughing at us down on the beach and were further entertained by the drowning fire and us "kraaaaaazy" swimmers.
The moon by this point was almost swallowed whole, only a sliver of light could be seen. We could still hear the roar of the ocean, could see the thrashing spitting waves. The fire was a good size and roared back at the ocean. It was truly a natural phenomenon. I fell asleep that night next to the fire, listening to the sounds around me, exhausted by the experience I had witnessed.
The next day I was awoken by the heartbeat of the waves on the beach. Much of the shoreline had been altered slightly, sharper lines in the sand, sand banks were worn down. No driftwood etc. to be seen. Andy returned from the party. It had been nuts over there as well, the music completely bonkers, driving many into a worked up frenzy. More internally charged as opposed to the external show we had seen at our little beach. Quite the Paradise.
We would eventually leave Gorkana and head East to Chennai, where we'd catch the 3 day boat ride to the Andaman Islands. Probably the most incredible experience ever. I'm so grateful I recognized a good thing when I saw it.
Tonight this eclipse was quieter. The dog was the only thing worked up and I wonder how much of that was due in part to his puppiness. I woke Erick just before totality, and he came outside to see it. Cold, clear night outside. Perfect viewing.
My future self's advice to myself for the year ahead: Keep your head in game and don't lose hope. Be kind to yourself. Enjoy the little moments. Love your friends. Be thankful for what you didn't lose and what you have. Change is a given. Rewrite your stars.
My current self's words of wisdom to myself ten years ago: 2000. I was in India. In Diu, Gujarat. Just before the earthquake. About to enjoy a Christmas that I only just connected with some of the participants to remember what a great time that was. A week away from heading south to Goa for NYE, and Gorkana for the Eclipse. although I certainly didn't know it.
Hmmmmmmm. Don't over think things. Enjoy yourself. Make friends, stay in touch. Follow your instincts but don't forget to follow your heart too. Don't worry what if. Things have this funny way of working themselves out.
Ten years ago, almost to the day I had just re-met Nadia in Diu, having first met her in Pushkar. We were all eating at a long table in a restaurant. Corinna and I had just arrived and met up with Chrissy and Co. Dave and Nadia, Dawn and Andy were leaving the next day for Hampi. Nadia came up beside me touched my arm, said "it's good to see you again." I had smiled back and nodded, too shy to say anything else to this adventurer I so wanted to be friends with. Nads told me later she couldn't remember how she'd met me only that I was familiar, quiet, and that she was sad she was leaving because she wanted to know me better.
Connections within connections. In January Erick and I are heading down to Tulum, Mexico to visit Dave and Nadia in their eye shaped casa in the jungle. I love living with them. My only regret in life is not spending more time with them in Manchester, as they really wanted me to stay it seemed. My soul breathren. During my time at Bridgepoint Rehab Dave had seen my Facebook wall posts from concerned peeps and had messaged me. I told him what had happened to me, and he told Nads. They both sent me messages and cards throughout the year, even reminding me of the Hangi we did on the Andamans. Another pair of arms holding us up, supporting Erick and I through a very dark time. We are so lucky to have the friends we do.
We mix Tulum and Tofino up frequently. Both small touristy towns, beautiful, magical, holding so many good memories. Each representing a sister-friend - my Didi in Tulum, and my Banyani in Tofino.
Connections within connections.